Several women ask this question themselves at some point in their lives: Am I a lesbian? Let’s look at a specific case and question. Then let’s look at the psychologist’s answer!
I live with a man, but the female body is exciting to me – am I a lesbian?
“I’ve always been in love with men, I still live with a man, but sexually the sight of the female body is much more exciting. Well, am I heterosexual or bisexual now, but could it also possible that I am a lesbian?
This issue has long been a concern, but it’s a delicate area. It’s not easy to talk about it. I’ve always been in love with men. I fall in love with them quickly. I have been living with a man for two years now. Sexually, on the other hand, the sight of the female body is much more exciting.
In my sexual fantasies, my partner is usually with other women. This also seems pretty bizarre to me, all the more so because I’m a very jealous type anyway. Sexual intercourse with my partner is (also) good, although I have never been able to achieve a vaginal orgasm. I have two questions. Do you think I’m a lesbian now? Or heterosexual, maybe bisexual? Can I imagine my relationship with other women, or is it hurt my relationship?
The psychologist’s answer
Am I a lesbian because of my fantasies? You ask.
Our imagination is a bird that, if its wings are cut off, will just rumble beside us, even though it is meant to soar. If this were not the case, human culture would never have been born. Moreover, even technology, civilization would not go further than the stone ax, because those who invented machines certainly unleashed their imaginations. It invented almost everything that others later accomplished. We would be poorer if we didn’t dare to fantasize, and not just culturally, but technically.
Sexual fantasy is also about what we really can’t or dare not accomplish, at least imagining to arouse desire. This desire: libido.
If this helps you to get in the mood, don’t be guilty, as it won’t hurt anyone.
Our gender: a biological compromise. In both women and men, there are different characteristics of the other sex, which also have a real biological basis. No one is going to be a lesbian yet because she finds beauty in her own gender. Every artist knows that the female body is much more beautiful and aesthetic than the male body.
Like in the italian renaissance, the Sleeping Venus (Giorgone). Or Michelangelo’s statue of David is gorgeous too, but his sculptor was gay.
Everyone thinks about the pleasure they like. And the vaginal orgasm… ..No other women have. This is our genital system; we really can’t do that. And our partner can’t do that, no matter how hard he tries. This is not our sin, but our creation. There is no problem because you fantasizing does not harm anyone, not even yourself.